Our first anniversary was last Friday.
I want you to remember that date, because the night I thought would be the happiest night of my life became the night every story I had ever told myself collapsed.
Aaron had been planning it for weeks, or so he claimed. Candles glowed on the table; my favorite pasta simmered on the stove, and a bottle of red wine my husband said he had been saving since the wedding waited beside it.
He kissed my forehead in the doorway when I got home from work.
“Get refreshed. I want tonight to be perfect.”
I floated down the hallway of our little apartment, smiling in a haze of disbelief that this was truly my life.
When I came back, dressed up but still barefoot, Aaron checked his watch and stood.
“I’m gonna change into a suit to match your stunning look,” he said. “You pour the wine. I want to do this properly.”
I laughed because he was being ridiculous.
Before I poured the wine, I decided to surprise him by sneaking over and wrapping my arms around his waist while he buttoned his shirt.
Then I heard his voice through the slightly open bedroom door.
It was not the voice he used with me. It was low and careful.
“Yeah, man. I’ve been pulling the wool over her eyes since school. She has no idea. Tonight I’ll finally do what I planned,” I heard Aaron say.
My knees almost gave out against the wall.
I pressed one hand over my mouth so hard I tasted blood from my lip.
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Fifteen years rushed through my mind at once.
The locked drawer, the secret calls, the name “Vanessa” lighting up his screen at 11 p.m. two summers earlier, the way he had looked me straight in the eye and said putting the house only in his name was “just for tax reasons,” and the way he insisted, even after the wedding, that our bank accounts stay separate.
Every small thing I had swallowed because I loved him too much to ask twice.
I could have burst into the bedroom screaming or hurled the wine glass against the wall and demanded answers.
But something inside me became very, very still.
I wanted to know who Aaron was speaking to, what he had planned, and why he had pretended to love me for all those years. I wanted the entire picture, not a hallway confrontation he could escape with that soft smile.
So I made another choice.
I wiped my face with the hem of my dress. I walked back to the kitchen on legs that did not feel like mine.
I picked up the wine bottle and poured two flawless glasses.
I practiced my smile in the reflection of the microwave door. The same foolish one I had worn for 15 years.
—
When Aaron came out of the bedroom, he went into his home office and returned in a suit, his hands tucked behind his back, hiding something.