Two weeks before she died, I sat beside her hospital bed while she nervously picked at the blanket.
“Fiona.”
“I’m here.”
“You have to promise me something.”
I leaned closer.
“Mom, rest.”
“No.”
Her fingers wrapped around my wrist.
“Samuel.”
My stomach immediately knotted.
“Not this again.”
“Promise me you’ll feed him.”
“Why?” I whispered. “Why him? Why always him?”
Her eyes filled with tears.
“I never put him before you.”
“It felt like you did.”
“I know.”
Her voice broke.
“And I’m sorry.”
“Then tell me why.”
She looked toward the doorway.
“If Mark comes around after I’m gone, don’t let him touch the blue box.”
I blinked.
“Uncle Mark?”
“Promise me.”
“What does Mark have to do with Samuel?”
Her grip tightened.
“He’ll erase him completely.”
“Erase who?”
“Just promise me, Fiona.”
I wanted answers. I wanted all of them.
But she looked terrified, and no matter how old I was, I was still her daughter.
“I promise,” I said.
A tear rolled down her cheek.
“He was my safe place,” she whispered.
A few days later, she was gone.
After the funeral, people filled Mom’s small house with sandwiches and quiet sympathy. She had purchased the place years earlier after saving every dollar she could.
Uncle Mark stood near the hallway already sorting through boxes.
I walked toward him.
“What are you doing?”
He gave me the calm smile he always used when he wanted me to doubt myself.
“Helping.”
“By going through her things?”
“Your mother kept too much, Fiona. Old paperwork. Broken dishes. Things that only reminded her of sadness.”
“I’ll decide what stays.”
His smile tightened.
“You’re grieving. This isn’t the time to make emotional choices.”
I looked past him toward the back window. Samuel’s shelter sat behind the fence, partially hidden by weeds.
“Funny,” I said. “Mom told me the same thing about you.”
Mark’s hand froze on a cardboard box.
“What did Stephanie say?”
“That if you came around, I shouldn’t let you touch the blue box.”
For the briefest moment, something changed in his face.
Then he laughed.
“She was sick.”
“She was scared.”
“Of me?”
“You tell me.”
He glanced toward the relatives gathered in the living room before lowering his voice.
“Leave old pain buried, Fiona.”
The next morning, I cooked beef stew because it was the only meal I knew how to make without ruining it. I packed it into one of Mom’s plastic containers and drove back to her house.
The first thing I noticed was that Samuel’s shelter was empty.
The blanket had been folded.
The coffee cans were gone.
Even the firewood had been stacked neatly.
“Samuel?” I called.
“Fiona.”
.entry-content
