“I never meant to hurt anymore.”
Tears slid down her cheeks. “I told myself I would fix it. Then I told myself it was too late. I’ve lived with it every day for six years.”
“Marla, what you did was unforgivable.”
“I deserve what’s coming!” she said, her voice breaking. She looked relieved almost. “Even if it means doing… time. Whatever it is. I’m sorry. But maybe now I can finally breathe.”
I nodded, feeling something inside me uncoil. For six years, I had carried this alone. Now I didn’t have to.
But the one thing that I couldn’t shake, what I couldn’t have imagined, was that my baby had been alive and breathing all along.
And I’d lost so much time to grief instead of knowing and loving both my daughters.
“I deserve what’s coming!”
Two months later, we found ourselves sprawled on a picnic blanket at the park, just me, Junie, and Lizzy, sunlight catching on the grass. Suzanne was away for work, and both my girls were with me.
The air smelled like popcorn and sunscreen, and both girls had rainbow ice cream melting down their wrists.
Lizzy giggled, cheeks sticky. “Mommy, you put popcorn in my cone again!”
I grinned, scooping up the dropped pieces. “You told me that’s how you like it, remember?”
Junie, mouth full, chimed in, “She only likes it because she saw me do it first.”
Lizzy stuck out her tongue. “Nu-uh, I invented it!”
“You told me that’s how you like it, remember?”
We laughed, loud and real. There was no heaviness, only the buzz of kids running wild, the music of their voices. I pulled out the new disposable camera, lilac this time, picked by both girls in the grocery aisle.
It had become our tradition. We’d fill drawers with blurry photos: sticky hands, messy grins, and snapshots of a life reclaimed.
“Smile, you two!” I called.
They pressed their cheeks together, arms flung around each other, both shouting, “Cheese!” I snapped the picture, heart brimming.
It had become our tradition.
Junie flopped into my lap. “Mom, are we going to get all the camera colors? We need green and blue and —”
Lizzy tugged my sleeve. “And yellow! That’s for summer.”
I ruffled their hair, feeling so present it almost hurt. “We’ll use every color. That’s a promise.”
My phone buzzed. It was a text from Michael about the delayed child support. I stared at it, thumb hovering, but then looked at the girls tangled at my side.
He’d made his choice a long time ago. We were done waiting for him.
“That’s a promise.”
These moments were ours now.
I wound the camera and grinned. “Alright, who wants to race to the swings?”
Sneakers pounded and laughter spilled out, mine mixed with theirs as we ran.
No one could give me back the years I lost.
But from here on out, every memory was mine to make. And no one would ever steal another day.
